Training the Letting-Go Muscle

Eight years ago, I left my life in Austria with nothing but a suitcase and no idea what the next chapter would look like. I stepped into uncertainty. Into the unknown. Into a life that had no map.

And during those years, something magical kept happening. Every time I didn’t know how things would unfold, every time I faced a challenge without a clear path, the moment I stopped worrying and started trusting, life opened for me. Support arrived. Opportunities appeared. People showed up exactly when I needed them. Paths formed that I couldn’t have orchestrated even if I tried.

And yet…

Even after all these experiences, I still catch myself gripping, doubting, worrying when the next unknown appears.

A friend once told me that letting go is like a muscle, one we rarely exercise, because most of our lives we’ve been strengthening the opposite: the muscle of control. To truly let go, we also need to train the “letting-go muscle.” :)

Maybe that’s the point: letting go isn’t something we master once. It’s a practice we return to - over and over.

Control and letting go are two sides of the same coin, opposites that define each other. When we try to control, we hold tightly to outcomes, people, and situations, believing that our grip will keep us safe or secure. Letting go, on the other hand, asks us to release that grip, to trust what we cannot see, and to step into uncertainty.

Control seeks certainty; letting go invites flow.

Letting Go Is Not Something We’re Naturally Good At

Letting go is a skill, a muscle we strengthen over time.

It’s not passive. It’s not giving up. It’s not pretending you don’t care.

Letting go is an active, conscious choice to stop gripping and come back to yourself.

When we hold on too tightly - to people, outcomes, relationships, safety, identity - we step out of alignment and into fear. We move away from our inner guidance, our intuition, and our groundedness.

We cannot receive what is meant for us when our hands are closed around what we’re afraid to release. Letting go unhooks us from what we cannot control. It makes us available again - to clarity, to support, to possibility, to ourselves.

Letting Go and Trust

Letting go is difficult because it requires trust: Trust that life will meet you.Trust that you will figure things out.Trust that you will know what you need to know when the moment comes.

Letting go doesn’t always mean walking away. Sometimes it simply means untangling your energy from what you’re overthinking or over-investing in. Then you redirect. Letting go is a return - to presence, to inner safety, to the truth that you can handle whatever comes.

How to Practice Letting Go (Training the Muscle)

Notice where you're gripping.

Ask: Where am I holding on out of fear? What am I trying to control?

Bring your energy back into your body. Breathe. Place your hand on your chest or belly. Feel yourself here.

Focus on what is truly yours in this moment. One action. One decision. One step.

Remember your own evidence. Your life has already shown you: you will know when you need to know.

Choose trust deliberately. Trust in your resilience, your experience, and the part of you that has navigated every unknown so far.

Training the Letting-Go Muscle - This is a journey for all of us.