You Are More Powerful Than You Think You Are

You are far more powerful than you realize.

Every day, you carry within you the ability to shape your experiences, your relationships, and your inner world. But most of the time, that power gets buried under autopilot: the rushing, reacting, defending, overthinking, pleasing, avoiding, or shutting down.

We forget that we have a choice. Especially when we’re triggered.

Because in those moments, it doesn’t feel like a choice. It feels automatic...like something takes over and we simply react. Maybe we get defensive, withdraw, raise our voice, collapse, or feel overwhelmed.

And afterward, we wonder:

“Why did I do that again?”“Why does this keep happening?”

The truth is this: Your power begins the moment you become aware.

Awareness: The First Step Back to Yourself

Most of us move through life unconscious of what’s happening inside of us. We notice the argument, but not the tension rising in the body beforehand. We see the conflict, but not the fear or the story that created it. We feel the shame afterwards, but not the trigger that started it.

But the moment you pause, and simply observe, you create a new possibility.

Start by noticing:

• When do I feel triggered?

• What happens in my body in those moments?

  (Does my chest tighten, does my stomach drop, do my shoulders lift?)

This is awareness. And awareness gives us back our agency.

The Hardest Part: Being With the Uncomfortable Moments

One of the biggest challenges for so many of us is that we struggle to sit in discomfort.

We don’t like the feeling of tension, disharmony, or conflict. We don’t like feeling misunderstood. We don’t like feeling treated unfairly. We don’t like the tightness, the heat, the anxiety that rises in our body.

So what do we do?

We react. We explain. We defend. We argue. We fix. We shut down. We try to make the feeling go away as quickly as possible.

Many of our reactions aren’t actually about the situation, they’re about our intolerance for discomfort.

We rush to respond because the silence feels unbearable. We argue because being misunderstood feels threatening. We push for immediate resolution because sitting in uncertainty feels too much.

And from this place, this urgent, uncomfortable energy, we often create more conflict, not less. The solution isn’t to react faster. It’s to build the capacity to be with the uncomfortable moment.

To breathe in it.To pause in it.To let the wave rise and fall without acting on it.

Because in the pause - in that uncomfortable space - lies your strength.

That’s where your nervous system recalibrates.That’s where clarity comes back online... and that’s where you gain the power to choose a calmer, wiser response. Learning to tolerate discomfort is emotional maturity. It’s self-leadership. It’s the foundation for healthy communication, boundaries, and connection.

The Space Between Trigger and Reaction

When you become aware that you're triggered, your next step is to create as much space as possible between the moment something happens and your reaction to it.

Again, this “space” is where your power lives.

It might look like:

• Taking a deep breath

• Stepping outside for fresh air

• Grounding your feet on the floor

• Saying “Give me a moment”

• Pausing before you speak

• Placing your hand on your heart

• Doing nothing at all, just noticing

Even a two-second pause can change the entire outcome. You don’t have to fall into the next drama, conflict, or argument. You don’t have to repeat the same cycle again and again.

That tiny moment is where change begins.

The ABC Model: Understanding What Happens Inside You

The American psychologist Albert Ellis created the ABC Model, a simple but powerful way to understand what happens between a trigger and your reaction:

• A – Activating Event (the trigger)

• B – Belief (the interpretation or story you attach to the trigger)

• C – Consequence (your emotional + behavioral reaction)

Most people think A → C is automatic

But what happens is: A → B → C

There is always something happening in between, and that “B” is where your agency lives.

Ellis explains that between the trigger and the reaction (C - Consequence) lies a gap. And within that gap is your entire potential. Because in that space, you get to choose what story you believe, how you want to show up, and what kind of life you want to create.

You can observe the thoughts and emotions that arise…And then decide how you want to respond.

This Is Your Power

The moment you pause, even briefly, you interrupt the old pattern

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And I know how hard this can be. I’ve been working on my own triggers a lot. From my experience, the very first step is simply noticing that you are being triggered, acknowledging that it’s happening right now and observing yourself.

You will still react and fall into old habits, and that’s okay. In fact, it’s a good sign. It means awareness is beginning to grow. When you notice afterward that you were triggered and slipped back into old behaviors, recognize it without judgment. That noticing itself is the first step toward change.

The next step is learning to recognize the trigger while it’s happening.

You might not be able to change your reaction yet, and that’s fine. Just being aware in the moment brings you one step closer to the big shift. Keep observing yourself, without anger or frustration that you slipped again. The very act of noticing how you feel when you’re triggered is already huge.

Over time, something remarkable happens: one day, almost suddenly, you’ll feel a little inner nudge, a voice inside saying, “Hey, stop. Let’s do it differently this time.” And that’s how step by step, you start building a new neural pathway.

Think of it like this: your old reactions are like a ten-lane highway, you could drive there super fast, almost automatically, hm actually it's like a self-driving car. The new path is like a small side road. At first, it might be narrow, gravelly, and curvy. You can’t rush; you have to drive really slowly. But as you practice, the road becomes wider, smoother, more scenic. You’ll start to enjoy taking it because it feels safer, calmer, and more beautiful. Your nervous system begins to relax on this new path. You can navigate it without fear of “crashing.” What started as a narrow, uncertain path eventually becomes your favorite route, a route where you move consciously, intentionally, and with ease.

Step by step, pause by pause, observation by observation, you are retraining yourself. And one day, responding instead of reacting becomes your new natural way of being.

You move from:

Reacting → Responding

Autopilot → Awareness

Fear → Choice

Survival → Self-leadership

And this is the beginning of emotional freedom.

You are not powerless. You are not stuck. You are not at the mercy of your triggers.

You are a conscious, powerful human being who can learn to stay present, grounded, and intentional, even in difficult moments.

And it all begins with one simple step: Awareness

The more you practice observing your inner world, the more spacious everything becomes. And with that space, you begin creating the life, relationships, and emotional stability you deeply desire.