Why you'd Let Go of the Need to Be Understood

How often do you catch yourself over-explaining?Justifying why you made a choice, said what you said, or decided to change directions?

Maybe you’re trying to avoid being misunderstood. Maybe you just want people to like you.Or mayby, if you’re honest, you don’t fully trust yourself yet.

When you constantly feel the need to explain yourself, it’s not for clarity. It’s for validation. And that’s not your soul speaking. That’s your ego.

Your ego wants approval, agreement, safety. It wants to be seen as right, kind, smart, worthy. But your authentic self? She doesn’t need to be right. She just needs to be true.

When you're rooted in your truth, you don’t need to prove anything. Your decisions don’t need to be explained. Your boundaries don’t need to be justified. Your healing doesn’t need to be defended.

You get to choose your life.

You get to change your mind. You get to say “no” without a backstory. You get to protect your peace even if someone doesn’t get it.

Explanations are often dressed-up apologies. “I’m doing this thing… but let me tell you why, so you don’t think I’m selfish or wrong.” But you don’t owe anyone that. Especially when your choices come from self-respect.

And here’s something even deeper: Nobody can truly hurt you unless you allow them to.

Other people are mirrors.

They reflect back to you what still touches your ego. People will say things... careless things, cruel things. Not everything they say belongs to you. You don’t have to take every word into your heart. Some things are meant to be heard, not held. Let them pass through you like wind brushing past a tree.

Feel it, yes, but don’t carry it. Not everything deserves space in your soul.

We aren’t hurt because of what someone said.We’re hurt because some image of ourselves got scratched. If someone calls you lazy, and deep down you fear it might be true, it stings.If someone mocks your work, and you secretly crave praise, it hurts.

What if you weren’t trying to prove anything?

What if you already knew:“I am who I am, even when no one claps.”

Then nothing could touch you.

Most people aren’t even really seeing you. They’re seeing you through their own filters, judgment, comparison, insecurity, jealousy. So their words? They say more about where they’re standing than who you are.

When something triggers you: Pause.Breathe.

Watch what rises in you: anger, shame, sadness?

Don’t fight it. Just observe it.

Because the moment you realize you are not the emotion, but the one watching it... That’s where real freedom begins.

Why you should let go of the need to be understood?

Letting go of the need to be understood can be one of the most freeing things you ever do. When you stop trying to make everyone “get” you, life becomes lighter, calmer, and more authentic.

The truth is, seeking understanding or validation from others is a never-ending chase. You’ll exhaust yourself trying to explain, prove, or justify who you are, and even then, not everyone will see you clearly. People perceive the world through their own experiences, beliefs, and filters. Their ability to understand you often says more about them than about you.

When you release the need to be understood, you take your power back. You stop waiting for external approval and start trusting your own truth. You become more centered, confident, and at peace within yourself.

Instead of trying to make others see you, focus on seeing yourself.

Understand your feelings, your boundaries, your story, and that inner clarity will naturally reflect in your relationships and the way you show up in the world.