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"Why did I settle for less?"

This was the pivotal question my client pondered, recognizing a pattern of consistently accepting less than she deserved in various aspects of her life. With newfound clarity, she boldly stated, "Now I am going after what I want." This revelation not only marked a significant turning point for her but also served as a profound source of inspiration for my own journey.

Reflecting on her words, I found myself confronting a similar inquiry. "Why did I settle for less?" This question resonated deeply, prompting me to examine my own past, particularly my decision to marry someone who was clearly not treating me well.

Despite the red flags that were evident from the outset, I chose to overlook them. In a brutally honest self-assessment, I realized that my desire to see something different in him led me to deny the truth.

I focused solely on the potential I saw in him, ignoring the realities in front of me.

Seeing the best in people has been a real strength of mine, helping me thrive in my career and make a meaningful impact. However, it has also posed challenges in my personal life by leading me to invest in the promise of what could be, rather than acknowledging the present reality.

This realization has been a critical lesson in my life.

I've learned the importance of being fully present, of truly seeing and accepting what is right before me. How does it feel? What is the reality of the situation?

I've become adept at gathering data to understand who someone genuinely is, not just their potential but their current actions and consistency in behavior.

I've come to understand that recognizing someone's potential is valuable, but it should not overshadow the importance of their present actions and how they choose to show up in the world.

This shift in perspective has been liberating. It serves as a reminder that while it's easy to fall in love with someone's potential, the key to true happiness and fulfillment lies in loving and accepting them for who they truly are, as well as holding ourselves to the same standard of truth and authenticity.

I've learned that while it's valuable to recognize someone's potential, it's crucial not to let it cloud the reality of their present actions and how they choose to show up in our lives. Like my client, I have decided to no longer settle for less. I am now fully committed to living in the moment, valuing tangible realities over potential possibilities, and pursuing what truly matters to me.

This journey of self-discovery is a testament to the power of confronting hard truths and choosing a path of self-worth and authenticity.

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