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Writer's picturestephaniekollmann

The Importance of Checking the Source of Advice

In life, we often find ourselves seeking advice, especially when we're feeling uncertain, frustrated, or unsure of the next step. Whether it’s about relationships, career choices, or personal boundaries, the desire for guidance is natural. However, one critical factor to consider when seeking advice is the source—who we’re turning to.


It’s easy to accept advice from those closest to us, especially if it’s offered with care and good intentions. Friends, family members, and even colleagues may share their perspectives, wanting to help us navigate challenges. But while their intentions may be pure, their advice may not always be the best fit for our specific situation.


Why Checking the Source Matters


Every person brings their own experiences, values, and, sometimes, biases into the advice they offer. If someone hasn’t successfully navigated the issue themselves or lacks insight into what we’re dealing with, their advice could inadvertently lead us off course. Just because someone cares about us doesn’t necessarily mean they have the wisdom or experience needed to give sound guidance in every area.


For example, I’ve been on a journey of learning to say “no” and setting boundaries. It’s been challenging, but it has allowed me to stay true to myself. However, when I began this journey, people around me started to tell me how I “should” behave, implying that my choices were somehow wrong.


This brought up an important question for me:


>>> Are the people giving me this advice skilled at setting boundaries themselves?


For instance, my mother has struggled with setting boundaries in her own life. So, when it comes to learning about boundaries, I realized she might not be the best source of guidance. Instead, I needed to look to people who’ve effectively managed this skill in their own lives—those who not only understand the theory but also practice it successfully.


How to Choose the Right Source for Advice


  1. Check Their Experience: Has this person faced a similar situation and navigated it well?

  2. Evaluate Their Expertise: Is this person someone who has dedicated time and effort to learning about this area?

  3. Assess Their Values: Are their values and priorities aligned with yours? Sometimes, well-intentioned advice may not fit if it doesn’t reflect your own principles and life goals.

  4. Trust Your Inner Compass: Even when advice comes from someone you trust, pause and check in with yourself. Does the advice feel right? Does it resonate with who you are and what you truly want?



In our journeys of self-discovery and growth, advice can be a powerful tool. However, by carefully choosing the sources of that advice, we empower ourselves to make better decisions. Not every well-meaning friend, family member, or colleague will have the answers we need—and that’s okay. By trusting in our own judgment and seeking guidance from those who have walked the path before us, we can find clarity and direction that align with our own values and aspirations.




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